It was a strange craving; a gnawing deep inside of my stomach and very deep inside of my mind. It controlled me. Every sense, every movement, every thought and decision. I was a prisoner to this fucking demon riding on my back, who was constantly reassuring me that I wanted more. No. That I needed more. Some could say I was addicted, but not to any drug. At least not a drug you could find in a pharmacy or some coca leaf field in South America. This addiction could be found anywheres, at anytime, and usually at no cost. Human flesh is actually very easy to obtain.
I wander hopelessly down a sketchy street somewhere in downtown Brooklyn. I have been walking for what seems like hours, with no destination or mission really. It’s been 42 days, 11 hours, and 8 minutes since my last dinner party. It was definitely one of remarkable memory. I’m not sure if it was the vivid memory or just my insane desire, but I swear I could still taste her. I would kill for a serving of Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s Human Liver with Fava beans right now. I chuckle and approach a busier part of town. I instantly feel paranoid and quickly glide my way through the after-hours crowd.
I catch a glimpse of myself through a convenience store window. I look desperate, but approachable. Though the reflection of the glass, I notice an enticing young woman inside of a phone booth across the street. I walked a bit closer and nonchalantly sat on a rusted bench. She appeared to be healthy and well fed. My mouth salivated like a water deprived dog. I imagined that her left thigh tasted like a filet mignon, cooked rare, of course, and I was convinced her skin tasted similar to caramelized onions. Boy, if only I had my meat cleaver with me I could have her in four to five pieces already. Instead, I tune in my almost robotic listening skills and eavesdrop on the red meat taunting me in its little glass case.
“Obviously that is what you meant Devin,” she said. “You are always working late, and I’m honestly done giving a shit. Come home when you come home, but don’t expect me to be in bed waiting.”
The woman slammed the pay phone onto the receiver and repeatedly banged her head against the phone booth wall. My imagination delighted with the image of sweet red blood dripping down the booth into a thick puddle of voidness. I hear the door of the booth slam closed and realize the woman has left the booth and is walking across the street towards me. She takes out a cigarette from her clutch and fumbles around inside it looking for what I assume is a lighter.
“Hey, you got a light? I’m sorry to be bothering you this late but I just really need my nicotine fix right now. It’s almost life threatening.”
I find myself stuttering, “Of -f-f-of course.” I reach into my pocket and hand her my lighter. My vision is getting a little blurry, and when I say blurry I mean red, crimson, the color of a good bottle of Cabernet.
“You know it can be dangerous walking these streets alone at this hour, aren’t you afraid?” I ask
“At this point I don’t even care. My joke of a boyfriend was supposed to pick me up from work so that we could go to this party a mutual friend of ours is throwing. Surprisingly he couldn’t make it.”
Clearly, this chick has some problems. But there is nothing that attracts me more than damaged goods. Something about the flavor, it’s almost gamey. I think she is Italian. I could tell by her distinct nose and dark hair that made silk look like sand paper. How convenient! Her liver would be perfect for Dr. Lecter’s recipe, it is a Venetian dish you know. Oh!— God knows I couldn’t resist this treat for anything! Poor girl, she has absolutely no idea what this night has in store for her. It will be beautiful and romantic and sophisticated. I was going to orchestrate this like Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. I turn on my charm and pounce.
“Was this an important party?” I asked.
“I guess you could say that, I just wanted to get wasted with my boyfriend and friends and forget about my life for a night. To completely live in the moment, the pure bliss of being present. Just one night is all I asked for,” she said, “I know that asshole is cheating on me.”
“What gives you that idea?”
“Well for one, he is always working late. It seems like every night, sometimes not even bothering to tell me about it. He has distanced himself from me for far. I couldn’t reach him no matter how hard I tried. Things are just completely fucked up,” she said.
Oh. You haven’t even seen the tip of completely fucked up yet my little lamb chop. How did I even get this girl to open up to me so quickly? I must really be giving off some massive pheromones tonight.
“My name is Alice by the way. I’m not usually this overbearing.”
“My name is Roger. You don’t need to explain yourself. We all have nights like this,” I said, “ The night is still young. I’m sure there are many possibilities to achieve your moment of pure bliss. I hate to seem pushy or forward but you look like you could use that drink now.”
Alice looked up at me with a look of weariness mixed with intrigue. I didn’t blame her. If I were her I would have left after the cigarette burnt out. But still I had her hooked somehow.
“Actually, I think I would like that drink. No use in making an appearance at that party without Devin. I’m in no mood for 20 Questions,” she said, “You lead the way.”
My inner child was jumping up and down spastically and my inner hunter was observantly planning his attack. I began walking towards the north side of town. I was planning on bringing her to a pretty unknown dive bar about three blocks away. Perfect timing for a little small talk.
“So this boyfriend of your’s, Devin is it? Tell me more about him.”
“Well we met about four years ago at a concert. He plays for a pretty popular band around here. Rusted Roses. Have you heard of them?” she said.
I had heard of this band, if that’s what you want to call it. I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting Devin. To explain him, he’s just a run of the mill, New York musician, who’s trying to catch that big break. Not a guy to brag about, or fear at that.
“Nope, I can’t say I have. I don’t really keep up with the current music scene around here. I tend to stick to the classics.” I said.
“Well, that’s sort of refreshing. You must have an old soul.” Alice said.
But Alice I don’t have a soul you silly silly girl. This was going to be too easy.
“Some of us just aren’t cut out for today’s society. Everything is so superficial, and everyone lacks intimacy and passion. True passion is what really gives a human happiness.” I said.
Sometimes I cannot believe the words that come out of my mouth. We arrive at the destination, Eddie’s Tavern. A hole in the wall where everyone just minds their own damn business. It is perfect for my endeavors.
“Well, this is the spot. I know it doesn’t look like much but it has a comforting vibe. Pick out a booth and I’ll grab us some drinks. Any preferences?” I said.
“I’ll just have whatever you’re having, I have a feeling you have an exquisite palette,” she said.
The irony of every word that comes out of Alice’s mouth almost chokes me up with laughter. I walk up to the bar and order two scotches neat leaving a a few dollars tip on the bar top. These bartenders deserve more than tips for the things they see around here and keep to themselves.
I scope out the bar room and I see Alice sitting in a booth hidden somewhat in a corner by the bathrooms.
“I got you scotch, I hope you’re not a light weight.”
“See I knew you were sophisticated. The exact opposite of Devin. He would have ordered two Budweiser’s without a second thought, even though he knows I can’t stand beer,” she said.
I hear what she is saying, but all I can think about is digging my teeth deep into her shoulder and devouring her like a lion does a gazelle. I down my drink, liquid courage is a must when it comes to these situations. I must make this woman trust me. I need for her to want me and to become completely mesmerized by my charm. Sure a date rape drug would make things a hell of a lot simpler, but what would be the fun in that?
“It sure has been a while since I’ve had a real drink. It feels liberating. Thank you for bringing me here. I think I really needed it,” she said.
Alice motions to the bartender for another round. Apparently this liberated feeling has awakened an inner demon. This is interesting. Demon meeting demon. She downed this second glass of scotch like a champ and I must admit I was impressed. But also perplexed at the same time. She was making this a little too easy for me, which just defeated the entire purpose. I was losing that raging sensation I felt earlier when I was picturing her head neatly placed on top one of my mother’s expensive china plates. The appeal I felt now was not caused by my hunger but by genuine attraction and curiosity.
“You know you’re pretty quiet. I feel like I’m just talking to this bowl of peanuts. But I like it. There is something about you that I can’t place. I mean your eyes are hypnotizing, I can barely look away. I just trust them, does that make sense?” she says.
She reaches towards my hand. Faster than my mind can comprehend, I jerk it away and place it under the booth. Her eyes widen suddenly, glazed with embarrassment. That was a new reaction for me. Very spontaneous and out of character. In a typical situation of such nature I would have had her halfway in my pants by now. But I was reluctant.
“You have nothing to worry about Alice. I simply enjoy the sound of your voice,” I said, “One might consider it hypnotizing.”
But that was a lie. I was more interested in her tongue, grilled with peppers and tomatoes with a shish kabob stabbed directly through the center. Not exactly hypnotized, just so fucking hungry. I can always count on the red tunnel vision to filter my mind, and bring me back to that level of predator. I had to get Alice alone in my apartment urgently. I could not ignore the gnawing and the voice in my head was getting louder and filthier.
“You know you want to rip her to shreds Roger. Stop fighting the urge,” it said.
“Let’s get out of here Alice. My studio is only a few blocks away. I have more scotch and some vinyls we can digest.”
She still had a look of shame all over her face, but it was diminishing into flattery. She stood and excused herself to the restroom. My eyes followed her there. I finally felt that animalistic longing to devour her again once I got another view of her frame and build. I was sticking to the initial plan. She returned looking fresh, she must have pampered while in there.
“Follow me my lady. I’ll get us a cab,” I said, “Shouldn’t take but five minutes.”
“I’m right behind you the all mysterious Roger,” she said.
The taxi was quickly obtained, and before I knew it we were pulling up to my building. I paid the cab fare and helped her out of the cab. At this point her equilibrium was certainly affected by the amounts of scotch she had put back. She was all giggles and excitement. And I must admit I could barely contain myself. I led her inside to the elevator, which took us six stories up and eventually to the front door of my apartment. I could sense her vulnerability and her longing for affection. But I know that the affection she desired was not the kind I intended to deliver. I unlocked the door.
“Woah! Your place is so…..so not what I imagined,” she said, “This is like the ultimate bachelor’s pad and you don’t strike me as the type to entertain often.”
“Oh you know, it’s all about the superficial appeal. Make yourself comfortable. The couch is around the corner in the living room. I’ll get the booze,” I say.
I opened the liquor cabinet and fished out the bottle of Glenlivet 15 Year that I saved for special occasions like these. But most importantly I mixed a little cocktail of rohypnol and ketamine and stirred it into her glass. And for myself I lined up a little slither of nose candy just to liven things up a bit. Oh yes, the demon was back and the red filter was closing in on my vision most comfortably.
When I returned to Alice in the living room she was perusing my record collection. I handed her the scotch and sat back in my couch.
“See anything you’d like to hear? How about some Jazz? Or maybe a little classic rock?” I say.
She began to sip her drink, with a look of intense decisiveness. At least is wasn’t a look of suspicion considering her drink had a secret ingredient.
“I think I’ve picked the perfect song,” she says.
She then downed the entire glass and pulled out the record. I couldn’t recognize the title from where I was sitting. She placed the needle on top of the record and out came Stealers Wheel “Stuck in the Middle With You”. How god damn appropriate. Alice began to loosen up and started to twirl around to the music. Eventually she dizzily lands in my lap with a very promiscuous look in her eyes. I grab her face and kiss her forcefully, which she reciprocates.
“Stay right where you are. You have probably never looked as beautiful as you do right now,”. I say.
She giggles, but I can tell that the drugs have taken their toll and she won’t be moving anywheres. I walk to my bedroom, and under my bed in a black leather chester drawer I carefully pick up my weapon of choice. My glorious Homelite XL Chainsaw. With it firmly in my grasp I return to the living room. I can hear “Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you/And I’m wondering what it is I should do/ It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face….’” blaring from the speakers.
The smile on my face was indeed permanent and insanely animated. I found Alice where I left her. Somewhat coherent and somewhat in la la land. I turned up the volume on the stereo system, “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,/Here I am, stuck in the middle with you”. Alice lifted her head, eyes squinted until she saw the monster machine that I was holding with my hands. She attempted to jump up but she was so past obliterated I pulled the string and a loud but satisfying roar rang out from my jumbo carving knife.
“Now Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the show you have all been waiting for. I will be carving my beautiful assistant Alice into five symmetrical pieces. And this isn’t solely for the purposes of entertainment or science, but also for the exquisite dinner party that we will all be attending later on,” I rejoice.
